So these are the new office rules that were posted yesterday by Mr. Jones, Thuso Jones that is.
1) Dress Code:
• You are advised to come to work dressed according to you salary.
• If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
• If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
• If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
• Albert and I decided that based on our salary we should probably come to work naked, Mandla disagrees, agrees triple our salary, which would still unfortunately leave us naked.
2) Sick Days:
• We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
• This one was good last night when Mandla threatened not to come to the teambuilding movie because he foresaw himself getting sick and promised to show us a doctor’s certificate, nope sorry Mandla you are coming with.
3) Personal Days:
• Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.
• These don’t even exist for us because we tend to work at least on Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays.
4) Bereavement Leave:
• This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
5) Bathroom Breaks:
• Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.
6) Lunch Break:
• Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so they can look healthy.
• Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
• Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Yes, we may have a running joke of the day in South Africa too.
So everyday Mandla tells Albert and I that he wants us out of this city and that we better not come to this office tomorrow. Especially after my pranks and antics. Poor guy will be scarred after this year. Although I must say we have a running tally of the pranks on the board (South Africa vs. America) and South Africa is up 2 to 1. Mandla got Albert once when Albert locked the keys in the car (he told him we didn’t have a spare and let Albert freak out for 5 minutes before handing me the spare to go unlock the door) and he got me once when he decided to lock me out of the car and drive away without me. So if anything he is worse than us or maybe we need to step up our game.
Mandla is always yelling at me from the other room. Earlier he called my name and I didn’t respond because I was trying to promote the Pepsi Refresh Project so then he was mad (jokingly mad) because he called me again and I ignored him. He then got up and told me to come back for a second because he had a job for me. He then asked me how long it would take me and I told him an hour to buy myself some time and he was like “An hour? I think you can do it in less.” Of course I knew I could do it in 15 minutes, but I didn’t want to disappoint the beloved site coordinator and his expectations. He then just told me that I am missing out because I didn’t come back there again (this is after I finished my other job), so I asked him if I should come back there and he replied that he does not want me back there. He then proceeded to ask me what is wrong with me and I told him that he is what is wrong with me. You have to love the camaraderie in this office. He also threatened to move me out to Platfontein (one of our sites) and he said I could work from there for the rest of the year. He said he would give me a host family; I thought it sounded like kind of a cool idea, too bad he was just kidding. Got to go video the boys changing Mandla’s tire. Peace.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Please Help Us
http://www.refresheverything.com/athletesforchange
Hey guys,
We have a Grassroot Soccer affiliate program working in Washington D.C. fighting HIV/AIDS. They are trying to win a $50,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh Project and they really need our help. All you have to do is follow the link above and vote once a day for the idea. Your help would be very, very much appreciated! You will have to copy and paste the link, I can't make it link on my blog. Thank you so much!
Hey guys,
We have a Grassroot Soccer affiliate program working in Washington D.C. fighting HIV/AIDS. They are trying to win a $50,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh Project and they really need our help. All you have to do is follow the link above and vote once a day for the idea. Your help would be very, very much appreciated! You will have to copy and paste the link, I can't make it link on my blog. Thank you so much!
It is Finally on Hold
I have been scanning the papers and the news for anything that I can link to my blog and discuss, but I haven’t come across much that is too interesting lately. In the local paper I have found out that apparently today is “D-Day for the Strikers,” and by D-day I hope they mean decision day. It would be wonderful to get back to work or rather really start work. Since I have been here, there has been a strike going on. I am beginning to think either there is no such thing as school here or that it is just me, like I brought on this strike and if that is the case the strike will be lasting for another 11 months. That would not be good for the children. For those of you who are not like my mother and scanning every single African newspaper to get the latest news over here (I guess that is where I get my news junkiness), I will inform you of what I know about the situation. Warning: It’s not much. Mostly that the strike keeps us from going into the schools and running our program.
Aside from the problem of not educating the kids, the biggest problem relating to the strike revolves around the matric exams that all of the 12th graders have to take. The matric exams are standardized tests that need to be passed in order for the students to graduate. Pope, wouldn’t you hate that if no matter how well you did in your class, if you didn’t pass the year-end exam, you don’t get to graduate. Thank goodness we don’t have these in the states. If you pass you can get a job or seek further education, but if you do not then you can study part time to be able to pass later. Thuso said that it is very difficult to get a job if you do not pass; you wouldn’t even be able to work in the mines.
The latest news is that at this point most of the schools in Kimberley have returned to normal working hours and activity; however, the strike is not over. It is just simply on hold, possibly because of these matric exams they have already postponed twice. So more to come about the strike; I don’t know when we get to go back to work, but hopefully soon.
Aside from the problem of not educating the kids, the biggest problem relating to the strike revolves around the matric exams that all of the 12th graders have to take. The matric exams are standardized tests that need to be passed in order for the students to graduate. Pope, wouldn’t you hate that if no matter how well you did in your class, if you didn’t pass the year-end exam, you don’t get to graduate. Thank goodness we don’t have these in the states. If you pass you can get a job or seek further education, but if you do not then you can study part time to be able to pass later. Thuso said that it is very difficult to get a job if you do not pass; you wouldn’t even be able to work in the mines.
The latest news is that at this point most of the schools in Kimberley have returned to normal working hours and activity; however, the strike is not over. It is just simply on hold, possibly because of these matric exams they have already postponed twice. So more to come about the strike; I don’t know when we get to go back to work, but hopefully soon.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I Love Being a Child
Teambuilding is my favorite activity here and I am always looking for new teambuilding opportunities. We keep trying to get free tickets from Howard at the DeBeer’s office to go see the Big Hole for a teambuilding opportunity. When I say we keep trying, I really mean that we tried once and need to keep trying. This past week, luckily, we had the opportunity to get in some quality office teambuilding. Phew, we need all the building of the team that we can get! Last Thursday Mandla, Thembi, Thuso, Albert, and I went to the Gariep Festival in Kimberley and spent the night eating and going on rides, two things that you might not want to put together if you have a weak stomach. Oh, we also did some dancing. The festival was sort of similar to the Barnstable County Fair (but less trashy) or the South Florida Fair (but probably less trashy too). We spent 15 minutes in the car trying to decide whether or not to go since we had already rented movies, but upon hearing Mandla’s sadness that we might not want to go, I made the executive decision that we would go because I knew that we could fit in the carnival and the movie. Boy am I glad we decided to go, I love when I just get to be a child again. That would be the 5-year-old in me. I wanted to go on all the rides, but unfortunately we only went on four. Mandla and Thuso were fraidy cats and wouldn’t go with us on the cool rides, so they just waited while Albert, Thembi, and I (the children) went on the Round Up and Break Dancer. Round Up was the ride that is cylinder, kind of like a flying saucer, and it spins so fast you stick to the wall. The difference here was that it was open on the top and then it turned on an angle so you could see out while you were spinning; much cooler than the ones at home. Break Dancer was like the Scrambler at home, you sit in a little car-like seat and the car spins, and then the four cars on the one leg spin, and then the whole ride spins. It was great. The people in the car across from us kept their eyes closed and concentrated on not getting sick; I didn’t think it was that bad. I can’t believe there was a point in time in my life that I was afraid of roller coasters and similar rides.
After all of that fun, we talked Thuso and Mandla into doing Bumper Cars with us. Since it sort of hit me close to home, I just rode with Albert instead of crashing into people. Just kidding, I really just wanted to get some funny pictures (success) so I decided not to drive and instead catch some shots of Thembi, Thuso, and Mandla in action trying to kill Albert and I. It was hilarious; I spent most of the time laughing instead of taking pictures. I think they were really out to get us. Thuso said that I wouldn’t be able to get a picture of him (he doesn’t take pictures, sound familiar), but I did, yes, I did. Since I didn’t drive, I didn’t have to pay so we had four tickets left and lastly Albert and I went on the flying swings. These flying swings were pretty ghetto and probably not the safest, but I still had a good time at least when I wasn’t imagining my swing unhooking itself and shooting me across the fairgrounds. The clip that held my safety bar in place didn’t exactly work and when I looked up, while we were flying nonetheless, I noticed that we were just held onto the machine by a large size paperclip. Real safe, hey TIA (This IS Africa). Well, kind of. I wouldn’t compare it to a lot of other African countries, but I guess technically speaking it is considered part of Africa. All and all it was a wonderful way to spend the night; I don’t know if our team got closer, but its alright because there is definitely more teambuilding to come. I.E. tonight we are hitting up Movie Mania Monday with 10 of the coaches, our office staff, and Jerome (HR manager visiting from Cape Town). We already took 16 newspapers to the mall to get the tickets; comical to say the least. It should be a spectacle and a rowdy, good time. If anything interesting or out of the ordinary happens, I will be reporting back. Also last week we found out that Mandla is very, very afraid of snakes, so we had to make sure to start introducing snakes around the office. We just hung up a panoramic postcard with 5 different snakes all over it on Mandla’s door. Just wait for the plastic ones. I can’t wait for him to come out. Moral of the story thus far, don’t tell me things you are very afraid of, don’t tell me things I shouldn’t do or you do not want me to do, and do not, I repeat do not challenge me. All of the above will lead me to do these things. We are obviously hard at work here in Kimberley; blame it on the strike. Over and out.
After all of that fun, we talked Thuso and Mandla into doing Bumper Cars with us. Since it sort of hit me close to home, I just rode with Albert instead of crashing into people. Just kidding, I really just wanted to get some funny pictures (success) so I decided not to drive and instead catch some shots of Thembi, Thuso, and Mandla in action trying to kill Albert and I. It was hilarious; I spent most of the time laughing instead of taking pictures. I think they were really out to get us. Thuso said that I wouldn’t be able to get a picture of him (he doesn’t take pictures, sound familiar), but I did, yes, I did. Since I didn’t drive, I didn’t have to pay so we had four tickets left and lastly Albert and I went on the flying swings. These flying swings were pretty ghetto and probably not the safest, but I still had a good time at least when I wasn’t imagining my swing unhooking itself and shooting me across the fairgrounds. The clip that held my safety bar in place didn’t exactly work and when I looked up, while we were flying nonetheless, I noticed that we were just held onto the machine by a large size paperclip. Real safe, hey TIA (This IS Africa). Well, kind of. I wouldn’t compare it to a lot of other African countries, but I guess technically speaking it is considered part of Africa. All and all it was a wonderful way to spend the night; I don’t know if our team got closer, but its alright because there is definitely more teambuilding to come. I.E. tonight we are hitting up Movie Mania Monday with 10 of the coaches, our office staff, and Jerome (HR manager visiting from Cape Town). We already took 16 newspapers to the mall to get the tickets; comical to say the least. It should be a spectacle and a rowdy, good time. If anything interesting or out of the ordinary happens, I will be reporting back. Also last week we found out that Mandla is very, very afraid of snakes, so we had to make sure to start introducing snakes around the office. We just hung up a panoramic postcard with 5 different snakes all over it on Mandla’s door. Just wait for the plastic ones. I can’t wait for him to come out. Moral of the story thus far, don’t tell me things you are very afraid of, don’t tell me things I shouldn’t do or you do not want me to do, and do not, I repeat do not challenge me. All of the above will lead me to do these things. We are obviously hard at work here in Kimberley; blame it on the strike. Over and out.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I Hate to Admit It
“If you lose those, I will lose you.” Mandalow
All right so my coolness just moved right down the drain. I hate admitting when I am not perfect, but my honesty sometimes gets the best of me. I got into my first EVER fender bender. Ugh, so embarrassing, pinche South Africa. Luckily it was not bad at all, no damage to the other car and minimal scratches to our car, it was just a horrible feeling. In South Africa if you are making a right hand turn across traffic (other side of the road) there is not a lane, so essentially you just stop in the middle of the road (the fast lane) to wait to cross. I let my guard down for a half a second, looked away from the road at a sign and when I looked back I saw cars stopped so I slammed on the brakes. Unfortunately instead of stopping, the brakes locked and I skidded right into the back of this lady’s car. I wasn’t going any faster than 20 km/h and it was fine because of the lack of damage and injury, but I still felt awful. I had such a good record and now that I am totally out of my element driving over here (I have been doing pretty well) I messed it up. So me and the Tazz, not the best running relationship. Don’t they all say, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Let’s hope it made both me and the Tazz just a little bit stronger.
On a random office update side note, we have a white board in the office and on that white board we have started a tree of the hierarchy in the office (Note: there are five of us.) We are trying to come up with special names too, but we only have Mandla and Thembi so far, we are still working on Albert and I and Thuso. For Mandla, we sometimes refer to him as Mandalow because on occasion that is how he answers the phone. Yesterday during our brief meeting he kept referring to himself as the “beloved site coordinator.” So if I reference Mandalow or the beloved site coordinator that is who I am referring to. Thembi is Masta Thembizi because she is the Master Coach for our site; in other words she is in charge of all of the coaches. Mandla also calls her “my vision, my future” sometimes so the board references that as well. From there we are at a loss of what to put for Thuso or us, but I am sure it will come to us; we do have a year. Also the quote above is a quote that Mandla said to me yesterday when we went to pick up the refrigerator for the office and he gave me the receipts. I am not sure why I thought it was so funny, but I just love his lines and the terms he uses sometimes, so you may periodically see random quotes or words he used. He is also nervous about how often Albert and I tell him that we are putting things about him on the blog. So if any of you ever get the chance to meet him, I will fully expect that you tell him how much you have heard about him. We also got a receipt from the taxi that brought the KIM coaches to the BLOEM VCT and they wrote it to a “Garage Hood Soccer” in place of “Grassroot Soccer.” Very similar.
All right so my coolness just moved right down the drain. I hate admitting when I am not perfect, but my honesty sometimes gets the best of me. I got into my first EVER fender bender. Ugh, so embarrassing, pinche South Africa. Luckily it was not bad at all, no damage to the other car and minimal scratches to our car, it was just a horrible feeling. In South Africa if you are making a right hand turn across traffic (other side of the road) there is not a lane, so essentially you just stop in the middle of the road (the fast lane) to wait to cross. I let my guard down for a half a second, looked away from the road at a sign and when I looked back I saw cars stopped so I slammed on the brakes. Unfortunately instead of stopping, the brakes locked and I skidded right into the back of this lady’s car. I wasn’t going any faster than 20 km/h and it was fine because of the lack of damage and injury, but I still felt awful. I had such a good record and now that I am totally out of my element driving over here (I have been doing pretty well) I messed it up. So me and the Tazz, not the best running relationship. Don’t they all say, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Let’s hope it made both me and the Tazz just a little bit stronger.
On a random office update side note, we have a white board in the office and on that white board we have started a tree of the hierarchy in the office (Note: there are five of us.) We are trying to come up with special names too, but we only have Mandla and Thembi so far, we are still working on Albert and I and Thuso. For Mandla, we sometimes refer to him as Mandalow because on occasion that is how he answers the phone. Yesterday during our brief meeting he kept referring to himself as the “beloved site coordinator.” So if I reference Mandalow or the beloved site coordinator that is who I am referring to. Thembi is Masta Thembizi because she is the Master Coach for our site; in other words she is in charge of all of the coaches. Mandla also calls her “my vision, my future” sometimes so the board references that as well. From there we are at a loss of what to put for Thuso or us, but I am sure it will come to us; we do have a year. Also the quote above is a quote that Mandla said to me yesterday when we went to pick up the refrigerator for the office and he gave me the receipts. I am not sure why I thought it was so funny, but I just love his lines and the terms he uses sometimes, so you may periodically see random quotes or words he used. He is also nervous about how often Albert and I tell him that we are putting things about him on the blog. So if any of you ever get the chance to meet him, I will fully expect that you tell him how much you have heard about him. We also got a receipt from the taxi that brought the KIM coaches to the BLOEM VCT and they wrote it to a “Garage Hood Soccer” in place of “Grassroot Soccer.” Very similar.
We Just Want to Work
The last two days of work we have been trying, fighting, driving, yelling, kicking, and screaming to work. We decided to run a SKILLZ Holiday this week to try to make up our numbers and just get something, anything going. I have spent the last two days out at a site called Soul City and Albert has been out at Platfontein. Platfontein managed to conseguir (get) 58 kids for their intervention on Monday and still had 35 show up today. Of course when I say show up, I really meant the coaches ran around the township and dragged kids over to the Isibindi Safe Park so they could teach them. At Soul City we maybe got 30 kids to come out yesterday and 4-5 show up today. So sad, the coaches were mad, Thuso was mad, I was frustrated, I am sure Mandla was frustrated because we are all just so tired of this strike and we want to get the programs back up and running. Right now I spend all of my time shuttling people around in cars and picking up last minute supplies that we forgot we were going to need for the intervention as well as trying to get my paperwork done and partake in the activities themselves.
Yesterday was special in that I got to actually be a part of the intervention. I got to see the coaches at work and I got to play during the activity. We played a game called Numbers, which for those of you that worked at camp, it is exactly the same numbers game we play there. First you are supposed to just run around in the circle and then the coach calls out a number and you have to get in a group equaling that number as quickly as you can. If you don’t get into a group or you are too slow, then you have to do squats (or in camp version, you are out). So I would run amongst the kids and when Coach K yelled out a number 15 kids would attack me and I would have to pick them off one-by-one to get us to the right number. It was really sweet and fun to actually be able to participate with them. Also yesterday when I was driving some people around Galeshewe (pronounced “Hal-i-she-way”), the township, we drove by this group of guys and most of the time I just assume we are attracting attention because of the strange white-black mix, but then all of a sudden we heard one of them call a “kilo!” It was AWESOME! It is so cool to be recognized by our yellow shirts for what we are doing. At least we are being remembered, which is a start. Ideally we hope they remember the key messages as well. Again today I heard someone when we drove by yell out SKILLZ! Oh, cool side note, I got a sick Nike jacket in black that says in big block letters “SKILLZ.” Love it!
Yesterday was special in that I got to actually be a part of the intervention. I got to see the coaches at work and I got to play during the activity. We played a game called Numbers, which for those of you that worked at camp, it is exactly the same numbers game we play there. First you are supposed to just run around in the circle and then the coach calls out a number and you have to get in a group equaling that number as quickly as you can. If you don’t get into a group or you are too slow, then you have to do squats (or in camp version, you are out). So I would run amongst the kids and when Coach K yelled out a number 15 kids would attack me and I would have to pick them off one-by-one to get us to the right number. It was really sweet and fun to actually be able to participate with them. Also yesterday when I was driving some people around Galeshewe (pronounced “Hal-i-she-way”), the township, we drove by this group of guys and most of the time I just assume we are attracting attention because of the strange white-black mix, but then all of a sudden we heard one of them call a “kilo!” It was AWESOME! It is so cool to be recognized by our yellow shirts for what we are doing. At least we are being remembered, which is a start. Ideally we hope they remember the key messages as well. Again today I heard someone when we drove by yell out SKILLZ! Oh, cool side note, I got a sick Nike jacket in black that says in big block letters “SKILLZ.” Love it!
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