It Still Exists

For those of you who are very close to me and I have talked to in the past 24 hours, you may already know this and for those who have followed me on my journey in Mexico know that the beginning for me is always a struggle. A new place, a new way of life, disconnectedness, bouts of loneliness; its all there and it has come back to visit. On and off this week I have had my moments where I am not sure I am going to make it. Part of me is ashamed that I feel this way; the other part knows that it is just me. In addition to my new situation I have had to say goodbye to a lot in a very short amount of time. For all those who I spent my summer with at camp, I am pretty sure most of you are to blame for my current uneasiness and loneliness. Basically I am saying that I had a great summer with all of you and it has been impossible to get out of my head making this transition just that much more difficult. Summer was awesome and now I am experiencing winter. It was also a special treat to have some of my best friends from school come up and visit me on the Cape and I really and truly enjoyed spending time with you all and will miss you immensely. I also had to say hello and goodbye to my wonderful family in less than 24 hours. You all were so super helpful when it came to preparing for this long journey and for that I am eternally grateful. In June I had to say goodbye to my parents and my brother and some of the people in this world that I am closest too and while it was two months prior to my departure, it certainly did not make leaving any easier. I don’t know if this will help any of you or if I am writing it because it may help me, but when I leave the very last thing I want is to lose touch with any of you. That includes the people I didn’t get a chance to see before I left. The hardest part of this process is feeling disconnected. I mean we are a very connected generation; I don’t know what we would do without the Internet. So as much as I understand that life will continue over there in States without me and as much as I don’t like that, I hope that you will please keep in touch with me while I am in this foreign land. Also, STOP thinking that I am running away, I am just working over here and if the same opportunity (exact same) existed at home I would be there.

Quickly I want to take the opportunity to introduce you to the staff that I work with. First of all there is one other intern out here with me and as I have said before his name is Albert. He is from Chicago and graduated ’09 and worked for a year before deciding that this is actually what he would rather be doing. Mandla is the head honcho of the Kimberley office and all of the surrounding sites; he is what we call the site coordinator. He is super cool, super organized, very smart, and loves to sing and dance. Most times when you are walking with him he is singing or dancing, he always has music playing in the office, and he has a very relaxed attitude, but will also has a way about him, a firmness, that if he asks you to do something, you will definitely get it done and do your best. Luckily there really are not “deadlines,” but you know you need to get the job done and he trusts that you will; good news in two days, we haven’t had any problems. Next in line we have Thuso (pronounced two-so) and he is the assistant site coordinator for Kimberley and LA/DK. He has a very even keel personality, loves to listen to “Ridin’ Solo,” and a few other songs of a similar nature. I haven’t caught him dancing yet, but I know he’s got it in him. He used to be a miner and grew up in DK and that is why he is mainly in charge up in those sites. Next we have Thembi (pronounced Tem-bee). She is the master coach for the Kimberley sites and the surrounding area. She is a crazy girl. She always called me “girlfriend” and its cute. She is 27 and 5-months pregnant. She is hoping for a boy, since she already has a daughter. She has told me a little about her story and it is a fascinating one and one that I will eventually share with you, but I want to get the rest of it first. She has a big crush on Edward from Twilight and Flo Rida and she loves the movies, so we have big plans to hit up the movies from time to time. She naturally chooses to speak in Afrikaans and she speaks soooooooo fast, it just sounds like one long sound. Sometimes she will say something then look at me like she is waiting for an answer and when I give her my “I don’t understand you blank stare” she will revert back to English. That pretty much sums up the people who I work with in the Kimberley office. Then today I met Busi, who is the assistant site coordinator for Bloem; she is mainly in charge, but reports to Mandla. She is sweet; she has a 2-year daughter and lives with her mom, her brother, and her sister. I haven’t had that much time to gather too much info, but I know working with her will be fun. I also met a ton of the coaches for the Bloem site today and they are awesome, Rasta dudes and dudettes. They are almost all in their 20s or close to 20 and they are just fun people. They always have music playing and are dancing. They speak a lot in Afrikaans to each other, but will try to speak in English and include me here and there. I ran errands to get ready for the HCT with Sam and T-Bo today and they are so fun. They all just have great personalities; so outgoing.

Thus far work has been pretty fun; it’s a pretty creative process and a cool way to see what life is like over here. I have the unique opportunity to work in townships and spend most of my time with people who have grown up and lived their entire lives in the townships. While it may seem like a weird concept, you can’t just walk into a township as a tourist. When I first went to Cape Town I sort of thought that sounded like a weird little precautionary Semester at Sea thing, but until today I didn’t really realize to what extent the segregation of the blacks and whites still exists. Before I got here I was warned that people here refer to everyone as black, white, or colored (a mix) and it is not considered racism or inappropriate, it is just how it is. Also, just to fill you in Albert (the other intern) and I are the only white people we work with; there are no more whites on the staff and all of the coaches are black as well, and there just really are not many white people in the townships. So for the last couple of days I have noticed a few stares here and there, but after living in Mexico and the other traveling I have done, it is not something I pay attention to because I am pretty used to looking like a foreigner. But here…I don’t; I don’t look like a foreigner. I very easily could be a white South African and no one would know until I opened my mouth, because I have a foreign English accent (most people speak with a British/Australian accent) and I don’t speak Afrikaans. So finally today it clicked; the stares I get come from the fact that I am a young white girl walking around with all blacks. I don’t just get stares or questions from whites; I get them from everyone. Today I was coming back from lunch today with Mandla, Thembi, and Busi and I was sitting in the front of the car with Mandla and people in the cars next to us were looking, talking, pointing, then others would turn and look, but at that point in the day I didn’t think much of it. Later in the day Thembi and I were in a shop picking up some things for the HCT tomorrow and it all started to make sense. She was having a conversation in Afrikaans with the checkout clerk to which I was oblivious to being that I had zero idea what the conversation was about. I think I heard “GRS” and otherwise it was all lost to me. After we walked out Thembi told me that the clerk was asking her what the supplies were for and Thembi told her a HCT for GRS in the township (I am not sure what the name of it is) and the clerk looked at me and looked back at her and said “and that girl, she is going to be there too?” almost in a state of shock and Thembi was like “yea duh, of course.” But as soon as Thembi told me that story it all sort of became clear to me, why everyone had been staring when we were in the townships, why people stared at me in the malls and grocery stores, when people stared at me when I am walking down the street or in a car. Due to my heighten awareness of the situation, this evening was even more interesting when I ran to the grocery story with Mandla to pick up something for dinner. First of all I was the only white person in the entire store, and secondly, every single person seemed to notice that we were in the store together. Most people were very clearly commenting on it as well. I am sure now that Mandla is used to this considering I am probably not the first intern girl he has taken out in public, but still it can be a very uncomfortable situation. It is obvious to me now that while apartheid may be over, you can definitely notice and feel the clear segregation between the blacks and the whites.